Balantine's Ballads

logged by Mourdeyan

These verses were interspersed with much raucous laughter, and imbibing of ale and lemonade, as well as welcoming of folk to the tent set up for the occasion of the membership drive in which Balantine was taking part along with other members and Officers of Daingneach Onoir. He entered into the spirit of the event and volunteered the verses as laid down in their entirety in the spirit of historical and hysterical goodwill and sharing. These are the Verses as well as I remember them, and I have had Balantine go over them for me and he assures me they are so. (I only hope that he will supply any new verses as they are added to these archives for the enjoyment of all)

Balantine asks, "Anyone care for a quick tale?"
Balantine clears his throat.
Balantine recites:


"Among the folk of kobold kind
A shepherd lived who tended gaks
So cross-eyed was he, he was blind
He poked his spear to feel their backs"

"The gaks would kick and stir up dust
Run fro and to, both west and east
The shepherd, he would feint and thrust
Pretend to kill a fearsome beast"

"One day a puma stalked the flock
Among the gaks it crouched and creeped
About to pounce, slipped on a rock
Upon the shepherd's spear it leaped"

"Pierced through the heart the spear did go
Into the dust the puma fell
Still as the night lay vanquished foe
In no more fields would puma dwell"

"Back home the tale our hero told
The battle growing in his mind
Soon he defended the whole gak fold
His courage worshipped by kobold kind"

"Although the tale that's told is tall
The moral learned is old and true
That even shepherds blind and small
One day the goddess will give their due"





Balantine recites:
"Elanthian Inns and Outs -- A Drinker's Guide"

"If ye get the urge ta roam
And venture forth away from home
Here's some advice from one who knows
Best be prepared against your foes."

"Put in yer pack what e'er ye need
May I suggest some Gold Fox mead?
Or honeyed tea that Helga made
And don't forget yer shield and blade!"

"For trails are long and Inns are few
Especially ones with decent brew
And if ye take the time ta dine
Then have a mug of grog or wine."

"If on the sea, then take a song
For days are short and nights are long
So whether ship or boat or raft
There's nothing like a Dragonsdraught!"

"Hearthstone offers mead and beer
Its coffee and tea are nice I hear
They also have cider and wine
Drink all ye want, and also dine."

"Now in the plains where critters lurk
They know that Killin's Thirsty Work
You'll find a place near tents of silk
where drinks are strong (even the milk!)"

"Down south come ships from distant lands
They serve drinks fast like they've eight hands
Or Tentacles some sailors say
They drink the rum, then sail away."

"The Sea Troll is a quiet place
A widow waits with saddened face
For a day she knows will never be
The food is good, and so's the tea."

"If trade and imports are yer quest
Then Spirits of the Delta's best
They bring the stuff from far and wide
Upon the ships with each new tide."
"In Pasha's Pavillion people bicker
about the coffee, wine and liquer
All are tasty and full of spice
And like veiled women they do entice."

"The Bronze Boar serves up hearty fare
Drink the bourbon if you dare
Or nosebleed gin or gut-rot rum
The drinks are large and so's the fun."

"The Kraken Inn is kinda rough
But worth the trip to get their stuff
They use the drinks to peel off paint
Don't go there if yer a saint."

"Up north in Icemule they like the booze
A little snort, a little snooze
The Icehouse Tavern has cherry whiskey
Which keeps the wee folk feeling frisky."

"To Thirsty Penguin many come
for pilsner, cider, wine and rum
Talbot's Special is worth a try
Folk say it makes the penguins fly!"

"And farther still more taverns lie
But as for now, my throat is dry
There be more Inns than I've addressed
but a mug at home is always best!"

Balantine says, "Still addin verses for Zul Logoth and the Elven lands."