Free Advice


Once I met a man,
Who just wouldn't quit.
I told him that if he didn't,
I'd give him a hit!

He laughed and roared,
About how much he was better.
I told him if he didn't stop,
I'd write his mum a letter.

"Hah! Women like you ain't real adventurers,"
The man gave a leer.
A shrug I gave in return,
Soon he would feel fear.

The clash of metal,
Shields thrown on with haste.
Both growling and sneering,
There was no time to waste.

I had my pride to defend!
Aye, I had to make him see.
Soon did I realize how,
Lord Paladin would not agree.

"Hold!" I shouted,
And he gave way to standstill.
I fumbled with sword and shield,
And pulled out my quill.

With wonder in his eyes,
The man gazed.
Then with realization,
He came from his daze.

"Don't write to me mum!"
He pleaded in my ear.
"I'm sorry for all I said!"
My reply, a swift kick in the rear.

And so I went on my way,
To go home and hit the sack.
I was pleased with myself,
For honor I do not lack!