Aedone

(This story is written in a period of lucidity, perhaps induced by Ronan himself.)

I’m not always certain of myself. Sometimes, I think I’m a child again…I think that’s what others see in me. I’m a woman grown. I know that. My body grows as a woman’s does, reacts as a woman’s does, bleeds as a woman’s. My mind, however, does not always follow suit.

Sometimes, no…to be honest…usually, I am a child in mind. This hasn’t always been true, however. I used to be “right” in my mind. I know I was able to think clearly before mother died.

That was, however, before the Lord found me. I was coming to market about a month before my mother passed from this world of her illness. That was when he spied me, and offered to help me bear my basket as I shopped. I, not knowing better, accepted.

Little did I know he would take me to his home later, while I thought he was giving me a ride to my own home, and keep me prisoner in his manor, to be used in ways that are best not discussed. What he did hurt me. I was young, after all, just barely come to my courses.

He seemed to take pleasure in telling me when my mother died. That was when I managed to escape. My pain and anger, my hurt, and my loss of “self” took me in a run, a childish escape that should never have succeeded. Before I knew it, I was miles away. Perhaps there, too, I was aided by the gods.

Mother had always talked to me about the Lord Aonghus. She’d always spoken of his two visits, where he’d come, how she’d offer him shelter and food, how he’d help around the farm before moving on. She’d told me how he’d speak of his wife, and how his eyes would light up. She even spoke to me of his dreams, of the Order of people with honor.

Those tales remained in me, with me, and still do, even though I am more often addled than lucid. My periods of lucidity are very brief.

All I knew upon coming to the Landing was that I sought “The great Lord,” and that the “bad Lord” had hurt me. I knew mother was dead. And I was frightened, oh so frightened, of all men.

That’s when the Paladins found me. I know now that Lord Aonghus is dead, but somehow, somewhere, I know that he lives within Onoir…and for that reason, I wish to be a part of it.

I feel the fog coming over me again. It’s so lonely in there, but at least I don’t feel the pain. Praise Ronan, that I should have an escape from the pain.