Bonespirit Crushling

A special thanks to Elaerina for helping with this history.



I was born and raised in the warm muggy costal cliffs of Wehnimer’s Landing in the final year before the Ice age. My parents were both human and farmed the surrounding lands, making a meager living selling their crops. As a child I helped my parents farm the land, and grew strong from this daily labor. Unfortunately, we could not afford the price of schooling, so my intellect did not develop at the same rate as my brawn.



It was as I reached my teenage years that I first took notice of, and then became fascinated with, the Landing’s adventurers. Each day I would see them go out into the wilds, and when they returned their pockets would bulge with so many silvers that they could hardly stand! I knew that this was the life for me. Thus, when my father asked me what I planned on doing for a living, I took a deep breath and told him, “I want to be an adventurer like the ones we see in town.” Father frowned. “Lad,” he said worriedly, “that is a very dangerous occupation, and you have had no training. Pick another career if farming does not make you happy, but forget this adventuring idea.”



It took many months and just as many heated arguments, but my father finally realized that I had my heart set on adventuring, so he gave me silvers for training, and I managed to get some discount equipment in town. My career as a Warrior had begun. Unfortunately, being a warrior involves a great deal of hooting, growling, scrapes and bruises. Even though I did like the drinking part, I soon decided that I was not really warrior material, and began to look for another way to join the adventuring ranks. The priesthood interested me because mother often prayed to Charl, and always baked pies for the temple fundraisers when I was young. So, I approached a cleric for training, and shortly realized that, once again, I had chosen poorly. The priesthood was far too demanding for me. Now I was in trouble. I had tried and failed at two adventuring careers, and father’s starting money was practically gone – but there was no way I was going back to that turnip farm!



Now I need to digress for a while, and talk about how the lands were before the Ice Age. I know you will hear the old graybeards saying how much better things were then, and how people knew and helped each other. I, for one, disagree. If you where not part of the click already they wanted nothing to do with you. My early years were very rough. Nobody would give me the time of day. I wandered around lost for days on end. I tried to ask questions, and got smart aleck comments about how I should know how to do things. I tried to start conversations, and people would just walk away. Much later, I discovered that some, like Blades, bore me no personal ill will, but were simply being true to their own natures. This hindsight gave me no comfort at the time, however.



Then one day I was asking someone a question, when I noticed that I was being ignored entirely. Of course, this was not unusual, but when I looked to see what held this other person’s attention so completely, I realized that he was utterly engrossed with trying to get a box picked. I suddenly realized that I had found the answer to my troubles - if I could pick boxes people would want to talk to me! Maybe I could make some friends this way, since my attempts at simply talking with folks were sure not working. This was the day I decided I would become a rogue. I bought my first pick, and headed back to the well in town square.



I had no sooner gotten there than I heard someone asking if anyone could pick a box. I piped right up and said “You betcha!” Less than a minute later I had broken my first pick and was lucky to still be alive. (Disarm…bah what is disarm?) From amongst a sea of angry faces came a question, “How many trains do you have in locksmithing, Bone?” “Training?” I asked, bewildered. “What are you talking about?” I guess someone must have told a funny joke then, because everyone started laughing. All I knew was that people were finally paying attention to me. One person told me to visit the shops in town, and another gave me a list of where to go. I was on the path to becoming a real adventurer.



I finally got some friendly advice about how to be a rogue, and realized that I would actually need to hunt a lot if I wanted to be any good at the picking business. Thus, it was not too long before my hunting took me to hobgoblins. One day, as I stood on a heap of arm and leg greaves, and wondered where the mountain used to stand that had been mined for all that metal, a person named Raxeli came tooling in. First thing he said to me was, “Sit.” “Oh great,” I thought. “Another big bully. He gonna make me sit here and watch ‘em hunt ‘till he gets bored and moves on.” To my utter surprise he tended my chest. It seems that I was oblivious to the fact I was bleeding. Then he said to me, “You gotta be more careful, friend.” “Friend!?” I thought. “Did he say friend? Hey, this guy’s not so bad!” Thus began my oldest friendship in the lands.

Rax showed me Voln, and introduced me to Simmer (This was a really neat, as there wasn’t a Voln Master on every street corner back then). He also showed me the graveyard, and how to navigate the maze that leads to it. Basically, he took me under his wing and turned my miserable, lonely existence in Elanthia into something that I looked forward to. He was even there the day I met Lopina. That wasn’t the best of days, even though I look back on it now and chuckle.



I had seen my trainer only five times, and was full of youthful energy and confidence when I said “Hey Rax. Hey Lop. Less go hunt some hill trolls. I hear they are easy.” The very first one we saw swung this massive claidhmore at Lopina, and, well, let’s just say it was messy. As I dragged Lopina to town I kept shamefully repeating, “Honest, I heard they were easy!” We finally got to town and got her fixed up, where I expected to get a permanent cold shoulder, or at least a thump or a slap upside the head. Instead, I got a kiss on the cheek, and a “Thanks for the rescue.” From that day on, Rax, Lop and I were inseparable. That is, until the day came that I took what I promised would be a short vacation to visit my parents.



The three months that I had planned for my trip turned into four, then five. Before I knew it, nine months had passed. When I finally got back to the Landing, everything had changed. Lopina had titled, and had pursued her career well past that. As for Raxeli, well, he had become a living Legend. Rax was happy to see me and greeted me with a warm hug and a smile, along with numerous stories of his brave adventures. Lopina, on the other hand, was a little more than irked. She scolded me for breaking her heart. She told me she had given up hope that I would return, and had started a relationship with someone else. I was dumbfounded as she told me we would have to be friends. However, being friends was better than not seeing or speaking to her at all, and looking back on it, it was better treatment than I deserved.



Well, after being on walk-about for a year my skills were a little rusty, so I found myself in some of the old hunting grounds I had visited before. I rejoined Voln and was honing my skills on some squirrels when I sensed Lopina looking for me. It had obviously been awhile since she had been to squirrels. As her vision faded, I heard her voice in my head asking, “Where ye at, Bones?” I replied and she quickly came to visit me. I should have known something was up at this point, as she hung out for hours and gabbed with me while I smote those insignificant rodents. As the night came to a close I got a hug, one I had been waiting for for almost a year, and a, “See ya tomorrow sweetie.”



The next day, as I again found myself neck deep in hobgoblin greaves, and befuddled as to the origin of all that metal, Lopina arrived. She just sat keeping me company while I beat on the hobs, occasionally smacking one if they were stupid enough to get a hit in on me. I enjoyed her company, so it was with great reluctance that I asked her if anything was wrong. She nodded to me, and I asked her if she would like to talk about it. We spent the rest of the evening sitting at a Wayside table talking. It turned out that Lopina’s new relationship had taken a turn for the worse, or had at least come to a boiling point. They didn’t spend much time together, and when they were together it was not enjoyable. I offered my regrets and tried to be a good listener. I tried to keep my mouth shut. I was afraid that if I opened it the exultant “YES!” that I wanted to scream would come out. I truly did feel bad for Lopina, but I really wanted to spend time with her myself, and not just be some passerby friend.



The next few weeks were rough. Lopina was bumming and I knew it. I tried to make her laugh with a quick-witted joke here or there. She was quite solemn, rarely laughed, and was not her normal talkative self. By the time the relationship had ended, it was Lopina’s turn to take a vacation. I said goodbye, and hoped I would see her again. Time passed, and Lopina did not return.



With Lopina gone, I buried myself in my goal to progress along Voln’s path. As time passed I advanced from releasing the graveyard dirges to hunting wraiths in the Abandoned Inn. These latter beasts proved a challenge, because there were so many people hunting the few rooms that I was reluctant to ‘stance dance’ The wraith would be dead before I got a shot at it if I did. Hunting less carefully in the AI cost me a few favors with Lorminstra, but allowed my progress with Voln to continue.



Late one evening, as I was hunting with a smaller than normal group right next to a big pile of marmet dung, I sensed Lopina’s presence in Elanthia. I was ecstatic - so much so that I ran out the room, leaving a number of chests behind. I stopped and thought about this. No self -respecting rogue would leave his loot behind. “Ahh screw it!” I said to myself, and ran. I’ll put my speed to town against any ranger’s that day, as I burst through the north gate to ambush Lopina with a hug. She laughed and gave me a kiss. “So whatcha been up too?” she asked. She continued with a steady stream of have ye see dis’s, done that’s, wanna go here’s, and do that’s. The chatterbox had returned, and was obviously feeling better. I beamed happily.



Things had returned to what seemed like old times. Lopina and I went everywhere together - wraiths, woodies, wolfshades, bone golems, masters - anywhere I could find an undead soul to release. We even got together a few times with Rax and his lady friend Dria to hunt warcats. There where a few nights where we showed up in town, and after selling our skins we looked like the adventures I remembered from my teenage years; our pockets filled with so much coin I couldn’t even lift my sword to swing it. These were good days. My friends got rich and didn’t mind spending time hunting with me, while I learned.



It so happened that a few of Lopina’s friends got married during these times and we went to the events as a couple. Lord knows a good idea wouldn’t come to me if it fell out of the sky and hit me on the head, but after attending these weddings and seeing how happy and excited the new couples were I decided I would try to get the nerve up to ask Lopina. I couple days later we were chatting at a table when I gave her the diamond wedding ring I had purchased, and asked her to marry me. At first I thought I was in trouble, as the nimble elf warrior knocked me flat with one of dose warrior tricks. Then she kissed me passionately, and I breathed a sign of relief. I would leave the Inn alive. (I am a little embarrassed about being knocked flat by an elf woman who was 120 lbs lighter than me, so there is no real need to share this with anyone iffin ye catch my drift, scholar.) We decided we would wait to get married until I titled, which wasn’t far away. That way, we joked to each other, Lopina would not be accused of robbing the cradle. Of course we spent so much time together that it must have seemed to everyone else that we were already married.



One day, shortly after proposing to Lopina, I took her home to meet my parents. It was then that I discovered I had a younger brother named Aterik. Moonpuppie, they called him. He was an elf with skin as dark as the deepest sea. It turns out that my parents had discovered him on a trip they took to Icemule. They found him all alone and shivering in the freezing cold like a lost puppy. The night was dark even though there was a full moon, and hence the dark child would be lovingly called Moonpuppie. He was weak, and could barely hold a sword let alone swing it. What he lacked in brawn, however, he made up for in brains. He was gifted and had learned to speak common as well as his native tongue. He could read ancient writings that gave me a headache. Father had taken the monies I had sent home and used them to help Aterik further his interest in the magical arts. He had been trained by some of the best scholars money could buy. He had researched Dartaghens’ scrolls and he was determined to pursue the arch-mage’s vision. He would avenge himself on those that killed his parents and orphaned him to live with Humans (but that is another Story). It was clear that, although Aterik would choose another way to pursue it, he meant to follow in his older brother’s footsteps as an adventurer. Hence, I took it upon myself to furnish him with the best equipment money could buy. Lemme tell you, young mages are more expensive than girlfriends. I managed to hide most of it from Lopina lest she become jealous (which was, admittedly, not in her nature.)



A few weeks later, I was sitting in the crypt mumbling about the masses dispatching masters in the gully, when another adventurer sitting there asked me if I wanted to go to arch wights with him. Now, unlike what I heard about hill trolls, I had heard that archies where mean and would put a hurt on you. However, I was flustered enough that I was willing to try anything. Plus, I was in really good regards with Lorminstra. My new companion and I headed into the bowels of the crypt where evil stood strong. I was reluctant at first, until I saw my companion kick these beasts. Blam! The Wight was stunned. Blam! It was knocked out cold. Blam! Its brain was scrambled and it was dead. I was amazed, and stared at my partner. “You Fu, right?” he asked me. Well, I had trained in brawling, as do all good rogues, but I had not known it could be this effective. I put my axe away immediately, and it would be many years before I would take it out again.



Over the next 12 years, I fought the menace surrounding the cold room. I felt like I had died and gone to rogue heaven when I opened the boxes I found there. Diamonds and emeralds abounded and I was swimming in coins! Woo hoo, look out wights!. I also met many friends fighting these vermin, including a young warrior named Morgiest. Of course, I also learned why saner folks avoided wights, as their death clouds claimed my life many times. It is particularly hard to dodge those things when you have 6 30 pound boxes in your backpack. Fortunately, if I fell there were many who would look for me, and I never had fear I would rot. Being a good person, helping folks, and sharing had earned the friendship of others. I don’t care how old you are, how much money you have, or how may 10 times enchanted weapons you hold. The feeling of friendships and being liked and respected by others is by far the greatest reward. By the time I left wights, I had mastered Voln and was up to nearly 40 spins of the orb. I took great joy in helping others bless their weapons while I was there, as so many had done for me for so many years.



It didn’t take long for that upitty little warrior Morgiest to catch up to me in his training. He was good in his art. When Rax and Lopina suggested we try pookas, he was grinning ear to ear. Morg, Rax, Lopina, Dria, Standex and I, as well as many other friends I don’t remember as well, spent a number of years fighting the evil in the Shadow Valley. I preferred the Valley, since figures and liches were way too crowded. Morg progressed quickly and soon left me behind, fighting in miners more so than pookas. However, I would see him hanging out on the ledge with Durpin from time to time, giving that poor Wizard a headache will all that magical energy of his.



It was at one of them meetings on the ledge that Morgiest shared with me that he and some friends were starting a house of Paladins called Onior. I said to Morg “Wow that sounds kinda cool. Wish I could join, but I don’t think you have much room fer rogues do ya.” Morgiest smiled and told me it was open to any adventurers who acted with honor, and that he would be happy to introduce me to the others. I met with Morg and the founding members of Onoir, and was proud when they accepted me as a Paladin. Lemme tell you, I am most impressed with the orderly meetings now compared to the holy headaches back then (that’s what you get for having a meeting outside the temple).



Unfortunately, dark days were on the horizon, and I was not destined to stay active in the new house for very long. Rax, Dria and Standex had vanished. I hadn’t seen any of them for months. Morgiest was also inactive, for the most part, and Lopina broke it to me that she was leaving the lands. This was especially hard on me. I had grown accustomed to her being there, even when I was fighting those insignificant rodents. I tried and tried to talk her out of it, but to no avail. I knew when she handed me her sword, and shield, asking me to safeguard them for her in case she returned, that she was going no matter what I said.



I was lost.



I had no idea what to do. All of my friends where gone, and one can only take so much pleasure in beating on a pooka for it. Still, I lasted 4-5 months on my own with no hunting partners, very little conversation to speak of (“Hey, Bone can you pick a box?” doesn’t count), and nobody to hang with. This was worse than when I had just started. I had known friendships; good ones, close ones, and they were all gone. So it was that I ultimately slipped into the shadows of sleep myself. Six months, a year, two, three, four passed before I awoke to find that the loneliness had faded a bit. I decided it was time to make new friends.



I had forgotten how tough it was. I had forgotten about the legions of folks who won’t give you the time of day, about others who can’t sit still if their head isn’t aching with knowledge, and still more who fly by so fast that you can’t ask ‘em if they wanna hunt. And pray tell what is up with all of the thieves? It makes me sick to my stomach. Not all the news was bad, however. I was happy and proud to hear that House Onoir had survived, and that the young warrior I had met so many years ago was known as its leader. I received this happy news from Onoir’s young squire Bristenn, who took the time to speak with me and to relay my warm wishes and greetings to Morgiest. I had hoped only that I might get to see my old friend again, if he even remembered who I was. Thus, I was overjoyed when I heard Morg’s voice in my head, asking, “Whatcha up to Bones?” Like he needed to ask, he found me sitting at a table picking boxes for one of Aterik’s friends. I was thrilled to speak with him, and most likely got on his nerves as I gabbed to him most of the evening. He took it in stride and told me it was nice that I had returned. He also reminded me that I was still a member of Onoir, and that he expected to see me at the next meeting. I had not planned on this: I figured Morgiest would be a little upset at the length of time I had been gone.



The meeting was wonderful. It was good to see some of the people I had known before, including Shrelae, Matti, Cassie, and Morg. It was nice to meet the new members who had joined Onoir, and it was especially nice how everyone went out of their way to welcome me back. Like I said before it doesn’t matter if you are rich or powerful - if you don’t have any friends to share time with, it gets pretty boring in a hurry. I am pleased to have so many new and old friends to speak with, and I look forward to making many more in the years to come.



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Bonespirit Crushling